Sensible Shoes

Top: Theory (Again, from the show. Should I just go back to working in costumes you guys? Look at the spoils you can get!)
Shorts: Old Navy (NOT on sale and not as cheap as you'd think or want. That's how passionate I am about Laura Dern's outfit in Jurassic Park.)
Belt: ForeverXXI
Socks: Target
Shoes: Bass (You heard me. Bass.)

This is one of my favorite outfits, maybe ever. You can wear these shoes or shorts with anything and be happy. Do yourselves a favor, guys, and get a pair of flat front khaki shorts. You won't regret it.


Fourth of July

Outfit 1
Dress: Thrifted (Thanks to Allie Clingan for the loan!) 
Shoes: Target

Outfit 2
Top: Thrifted and altered (sleeves removed)
Skirt: Thrifted
Sandals: Dolce Vita

Outfit 3
Dress: Marc by Marc Jacobs (From work! Ah, the perks of costumes departments.)
Sandals: Dolce Vita

Outfit 4
Tank top: In a three-pack from TJ Maxx. It's the only tank of the three to survive to this day (The other two were a plain navy blue, and a navy/white stripe.)
Skirt: Target (You can't really tell, but it's a dark red corduroy. I think it's been on the blog before.)
Shoes: Target

Outfit 5
Tank Top: Some store on the Commons during Apple Fest. (You can't really see it, but it's burgundy.)
Top: TJ Maxx (It's a beach cover up I usually wear with "nude" fishnets as a dress. Very scandalous).
Shorts: TJ Maxx
Sandals: Dolce Vita

Outfit 6
Top: Salvation Army, Palm Springs (Altered: shortened and sleeves cut off.)
Shorts: TJ Maxx
Shoes: Toms (You can't tell because of their extreme filth, but they are/were once red and white striped.) 

Outfit 7
Vest: Goodwill (I added the snap to make closing optional.)
Tshirt: Nike (Again, free from the show!)
Sandals: Dolce Vita
*Shorts/Skirt/Tights/Pants - I don't seem to be wearing any??!?

Honestly, this isn't even a drop in the bucket as far as patriotic ensembles go. There are many pieces not included, many different ways of wearing the pieces that are, an array of optional hats that somehow weren't photographed, not to mention the red/white/blue tattoos I have. 

Fourth of July 2012 was the first year I did a week of holiday ensembles, and while I missed my chance for Halloween, revisiting this photos (which were not taken that long ago - a pile of patriotic clothes sat on my stool for months and months until one day I had a few drinks and made Kratz play fashion shoot) made me want to do it again for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years. 

Thanksgiving is going to be hard. Maybe I'll just re-watch every Thanksgiving episode of Friends and recreate Rachel's outfits.  New Years will not be hard. 


Cougar Goes Grocery Shopping

Top: Urban Outfitters (on sale)
Shorts: Goodwill
Shoes: Steve Madden via Crossroads Trading co.

Meg wanted me to dress like a Cougar going grocery shopping, so here it is! The shorts are an homage to being a mom (or of mom age) and the rest of it is self explanatory (a cougar would never be caught dead out of the house in anything but wedges.)


Button Swap

Dress: Forever21 (given to me by a friend who no longer wanted it.)
Buttons: Jo Ann Fabrics
Belt: Rope from Jo Ann Fabrics
Sandals: Dolce Vita

I was given this dress and loved it - except for the buttons on the shoulder and sleeves (pictured in bottom photo). So I removed them and put on bright turquoise buttons I got in a mixed bag of buttons from the fabric store.  Now it's awesome!


Sexy Prizefighter

Jumpsuit: Macy's
Belt: Petrune (gift from my darling Allie)
Tights: Target
Shoes: some brand from DSW 
Sweater: Banana Republic Outlet (gift)

These pictures are terrible, for which I apologize.  But this jumpsuit resembles a  boxing robe in the way it drapes in the front and at the legs.  I got this when I was still working at my job in post, and it was early enough in my career that I was nervous about taking fashion risks.  I remember being in the dressing room at Macy's, alone, and taking a picture of the garment on the hanger to text to my boss.  Her responses was something like, "I better see you in this on Monday."  

And that's why working in TV can be awesome.  

Quirky Math Teacher

Tank: Target
Necklace: My mom's old locket
Sweater: Target (gift)
Pants: Thrifted, I think Ann Taylor (gift from Mom)
Shoes: Target

I know you're thinking, "quirky math teacher? No way!"  But hear me out.  The hallmark of quirky teachers is that they think patterns are cool.  The hallmark of math teachers is that their clothing doesn't fit - much like these pants.



Sweater: Marc by Marc  Jacobs (a wrap gift from some of my ladies last season.  I didn't buy it so I can't be sure, but it is probably the most expensive thing I own and thus I am constantly nervous about destroying it when I wear it.)
Skirt: Ann Taylor (or maybe J.Crew?  Either way it's thrifted and I'm too lazy to check.)
Shoes: Target
Necklace: Free at a yardsale!  

Not a lot to say about this outfit.  Sometimes Kratz isn't here and I have to take photos of myself in the mirror.  


Bob Mackie

Jacket: Bob Mackie (a thrifted gift from my mother)
Tank: Target
Skirt: American Apparel Outlet 
Shoes: Target

Once every six weeks or so, I'll get a call from my mom that will interrupt me at work.  I answer, assuming someone has died.  It is always because she has gone to the thrift store on half off day and needs to know if I want a fur coat/can wear a size 0/ can wear a size 12/ will wear a pair of shiny high waisted pants.  I always say yes.  Because that's how you get things like this Bob Mackie jacket!

Usually the way my mom describes things over the phone is different than what the garment actually looks like.    When she said "I found a Bob Mackie jacket for $8!" I honestly had no idea what to expect.  Except I thought there would be feathers.  Or sequins.  And that Cher would wear it.  

None of those things apply to this jacket, but when I wore this to work one day my supervisor liked it more than any other outfit I've ever worn, which was maybe the last reaction I expected to get from her.  

Drunk Outfitting

Cardigan: Banana Republic Outlet (gift)
Tank: Banana Republic Outlet (gift, taken to the thrift store since this photo was taken.)
Skirt: American Apparel Outlet
Tights: Hue
Socks: Clarks (lifetime guaranteed!)
Shoes: Clarks (not guaranteed for a lifetime. Or at all.)
*Book: Hilary Duff's Devoted

Sweater: Thrifted (It's mohair or something, and it often gets into my mouth and chokes me.  Totally worth it though, because I feel like Amber from Clueless when I wear it.)
Shirt: Thrifted (It's this brand Foxfire.  I think it's for old ladies and sold at Nordstrom or something.  I haven't done a real study or anything, but I'd guess that 90% of the shirts I pull off a rack to look at in a thrift store end up being this brand.  And I always buy them because they are awesome.)
Skirt: Express

I probably wasn't drunk when I put these outfits together, (but it is possible because I put my outfits together right before I go to bed) but I was drunk when Kratz took these photos of me.  Probably like, pretty drunk, since there are not multiple takes of either of these outfits.  

*In case anyone was curious, this book is not worth reading.  


Medieval Times

Vest: Thrifted
Shirt: Thrifted
Shorts: Thrifted (Forever XXI)
Tights: Hue
Shoes: Clarks

Some of my coworkers still speak of this outfit.  It is certainly not one to be forgotten. and it elicited actual (good-natured, I think) laughter when I wore it.  

It is important to know that both shorts and vest are crushed velvet.  The shorts recently exited my life (back to a thrift store, the place of their sartorial birth) and I will miss them.


Sweater. Dress.

Sweater: Urban Outfitters via Gabriel Bros. (Which means it was like, $3 y'all!  Move to Ohio. I'm serious.  Everything is cheap there.)
Dress: ForeverXXI, thrifted
Tights: Target
Socks:  No clue.  A gift, probably. 
Boots: Bare Traps (Not leather!  They're the best.  If you live in LA and need something cobbled, go to Willie's Shoe Service/Don Ville on La Brea.  They made these look better than new.)

Check this out guys.  I'm wearing a sweater.  Over a dress.  Fooled you, right?  Anyway, this dress is of the super sexy halter variety (where it's more like a weird choker collar at the top than a halter.. what are those called?) and it has enormous armholes so I have yet to find a bra to wear with it.  I am VERY SERIOUS about wearing the correct bra with the correct garment.  You don't want to look like an idiot.  

So this was my work appropriate solution.  Because I felt a need to wear my $4 ForeverXXI thrift store dress to work.  

That being said, I think I'm going to let my  bra hang all out and wear this to a bar tonight.  (It's going to be a bandeau bra guys.  Let's not get too crazy).  


Make it Manly

Blazer: Liz Claiborne Outlet (and proud of it!)
Dress: TJ Maxx/Marshall's
Tights: Gift
Boots: Nine West Outlet 

You know how magazines always tell you to throw on an "oversized blazer" or "motorcycle jacket" to "toughen up your look" or whatever?  I sort of hate that idea, but end up doing it all the time.  Partly to break up a look, but more often than not because a real coat is not needed in Southern California; a blazer or pleather jacket (you think I can afford a leather jacket?!) will suffice.  

People always think this dress is vintage.  It couldn't be further from the truth.  On an unrelated note, I'm especially pleased with these boots because on the way back from a romantic vacay in Santa Barbara, my man actually wanted to stop at an outlet mall.  And stop we did.  He had no idea what he was getting into.  The Ruttinger ladies fucking love an outlet mall. 

Serious Business

Shirt: Goodwill (Vine & Fountain, arguably my 2nd favorite in Los Angeles.)
Sweater: Gap circa 1999/2000 (I've said it before - I think - and I'll say it again:  If someone wants me to part with this cardigan, they will have to pry this off of my cold dead body.)
Pants: Thrifted and gifted by my mother. I think they're Talbots? Or Chicos?  I mean, look at them. 
Shoes: TJMaxx

This outfit is the total opposite of Serious Business.  I mean, are you kidding me?  I don't recall the reaction I got when I wore this to work, (Uh-oh... I just revealed my secret.  I stockpile photos) but I know I did it.  I'm sure strangers gaped at me in shock and not awe, but I think one of my bosses really dug my pants.  

I can't believe I wore this.  This is the result when my man is either out of town or unemployed (and thus still sleeping when I leave in the morning).  


Office Lumberjack

Shirt: Target
Skirt: Old Navy
Tights: TJMaxx
Shoes: $5 at a yardsale

I wore this to work thinking, "Maybe this is too far.  Maybe I've finally done it."  This is something I have thought to myself at least one morning a month for the past three years.  Usually it's because I'm wearing a skirt or shorts that seem too short, or shoes that seem too casual.  But this day... this day was special.

I mean, what the fuck is this outfit?
My boss loved it.
Also these shoes gave me blisters like you would not believe after 12 hours, so I have not worn them again.  But I will.  Oh, I will. 


Bulky Crayon

Shirt: American Apparel
Tank: Target
Belt:  Petrune, maybe, the aforementioned Allie gift.
Pants: Urban Outfitters sale
Shoes: Gap

This is another way to wear the pieces from the earlier outfit.  Despite the fact that this shirt does not have a dead rock icon's face on it, I think it may be even crazier.  Not my best work, but at the time, I loved it.  


Shirt: Self made from Elvis fabric (gifted to me by the loveliest Meg Brown)
Belt: Petrune, I think (a gift from the loveliest Allie Clingan).
Pants: Super online sale from Urban Outfitters!
Socks: Some discount store with my mom, because there is nowhere else one would buy trouser socks.
Shoes: Marshalls or TJMaxx (I love them equally, and in my mind they are interchangeable. Like calling nose tissues Kleenex). 

I have  no idea what happened to the full length photo of this outfit, but you can piece it together.  I'm sure I had no accessories on, because when Elvis is repeatedly on your shirt, if that's not the one thing you take off when you look in the mirror, you certainly remove any and all other flashy extras.  

80s Ski Lodge Employee

Sweater: Forever21

Skirt: American Apparel

Tights:  No idea where they came from.  A gift, maybe?

Shoes: American Vintage (the one on Hillhurst, now closed).

The orange belt from the last post came attached to this sweater.  It was a crazy pairing.  Rule number one, if an article of clothing comes with a belt, do not wear them together.

When you wear multiple bright colors together, people can't help but comment on it.  A lot.  I don't know how to wear colors like these any other way.